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+# At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb
+
+"At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb" (ATR hereafter) is the second-to-last track
+on twenty one pilots' 2024 record, _Clancy_. I've discussed it in [Review
+of _Clancy_ (2024)](clancy_review.md) that it
+
+>Starts off like circus music, but I feel it's the most serious song on
+>the record. It tells you to check on your friends' mental health, no
+>matter what they say — even at the risk of feeling dumb.
+
+>It's also the track that "sounds like them" and "feels like them". They
+>spread a message, like "Neon Gravestones". The strongest track, and
+>energetic as well.
+
+So naturally given the comically long summer break, I am gonna cover it.
+From scratch.
+
+The goal of this cover is not to reproduce the original; instead, I opted
+to be more creative with sounds and arrangement.
+
+While you read, you can open my [Faircamp](/jam) in a new tab and hit
+play.
+
+## What's in the song?
+
+Oh boy.
+
+Since it's from scratch, I could not reuse stems or sample the original.
+This endeavor ended up being my most complicated audio project ever. There
+are 52 tracks. Fifty-two. Ardour lags as I scroll up and down.
+
+A synopsis:
+
+- Synths: lead, 4 pads, vibraphone, harp, high-pitched hum
+- Drums: 808, Black Pearl (plugin), and a real snare drum
+- Vocals: main, falsetto, lofi, tenor, and rap
+- Autotune for each pitched vocal track
+- Ukulele: some with fuzz effects
+- Bass, where one track is shifted one octave up to emulate guitar
+- Samples: see below
+
+### Samples
+
+I had to be creative with household items.
+
+- 0:00 - Cassette player
+- 0:21 - Vernier calipers
+- 0:22 - Spray bottle
+- 0:55 - 2.54mm pin headers sliding against edge of table
+- 0:56 - Ziploc of CR2032 battery holders (sounds like sleighbells)
+- 2:12 - Two pencils
+- 2:24 - Nitrile glove
+
+## Timeline
+
+I recorded ATR over 13 studio sessions (in my bedroom) in total. Eleven
+were in the first half of June. Then I procrastinated two weeks. Then
+I picked up where I left in early July.
+
+Rather unconventionally, I recorded the track one part at a time, rather
+than laying out a complete backing track before vocals. When I was
+recording Chorus 2, for example, everything following that was blank.
+Thus, I had no idea where I was going. I came up with most of the creative
+ideas halfway.
+
+Notable inspirations:
+
+- The intro is sung along to tøp's "Friend, Please" (which carries the
+ same message as ATR)
+- "Nude" by Radiohead inspired the slap-like, one-octave-up bassline you
+ hear in Chorus 2 thru 4
+- Original Verse is a commentary on _Clancy_'s track listing
+- I yanked the last bar of drums from "Levitate"
+
+## Technical details
+
+### Chord progression
+
+Really simple song in terms of chord progression. Everything is G-Em-Bm-D
+except the post-chorus where it's G-Em-Bm-A-D. Turned out challenging as
+I had to improvise rhythmically to make the same chords interesting over
+and over again.
+
+### Mic rig
+
+Mom bought a phone tripod with a swing arm. The threaded hole on the phone
+clip is identical to that on the mic holder, so naturally, up it went. No
+more stacking boxes under the short-ass mic stand.
+
+I had no windshield so I improvised with a napkin wrapped around the wire
+mesh tied with a rubber band. Can't keep out the hard P's though, so I had
+to automate the fader.
+
+### Balanced cable
+
+I bought a balanced XLR cable to replace the XLR-quarter inch cable my mic
+came with. The noise disappeared like the money in my wallet. 5/5 would
+buy again.
+
+### Drums
+
+I used three drum kits in a single song.
+
+OK, one of them is a single snare drum I practiced on when I was 12.
+Played with Trench-era Josh Dun drumsticks. You can hear it in Chorus
+2 and Post-Chorus 1. I did not record the rest on the drum, because my
+neighbor might complain.
+
+One day I was cleaning out some junk at my late great-grandparents' house
+when I found my old electronic drumkit. I brought home the console, the
+snare drum, and all the cables. With some hackery involving a MIDI-to-USB
+adaptor I was able to record drums with real drumsticks. But I did not
+because the drum pads worked just fine.
+
+The Black Pearl kit was a late addition. Before that, I used a built-in
+kit, but the snare lacked punch, and the crash is just not wet enough.
+Luckily, I have a few drumkits installed for unknown reasons, and this
+Black Pearl kit blew my mind.
+
+### Pedal
+
+There's a pair of pedal switches (cost like 10 CNY each) I bought back in
+2019 for a kinetic game I made (which didn't work, btw). So I soldered the
+wires to a cable with a quarter inch tip-ring plug so that the contacts
+short when I stomp it. It functions as a sustain pedal for my keyboard and
+hihat open-close control for the drum kit. Neither turned out useful but
+they sound cool.
+
+### Ukulele
+
+Didn't have the money to buy a condenser mic so it is what it is.
+
+### EQ & compressor
+
+I recorded the kick, snare, hihat and other cymbals on separate tracks so
+they have different EQs. I used "Calf Equalizer 5 Band". The kick is
+lowpassed and sidechained to many other tracks (such as bass) to compress
+them so they don't muddle the 60 Hz range.
+
+### Autotune
+
+Yes, my vocals are autotuned. The plugin is "x42-Autotune". To avoid
+sounding like an unnamed rap star, I had to keep the correction ratio
+below 0.6. For each group of pitched vocal tracks singing the same melody,
+I have a MIDI track for the autotune plugin to refer to.
+
+Sometimes I sing off-key so bad I have to do another take. And sometimes
+the autotune overreacts so I have an automation track to taper down the
+correction ratio temporarily.
+
+### Cassette player
+
+The click and whirr you hear at the beginning are a real AKAI cassette
+player. I wish it worked. If it worked, I could have run my vocals through
+an aux cable on tape and played it back to achieve physical lo-fi.
+
+### Album cover
+
+I reused assets from the recent reflow workshop 2. The color scheme is
+inspired by _Clancy_ itself, and the title typesetting is inspired by
+Radiohead's _In Rainbows_ (2007). The smoke is [a photo by Tigerzeng on
+Wikimedia
+Commons](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Candle_smoke_structure_1.jpg).
+
+## Tools used
+
+### Software
+
+- Ardour: arrangement, recording, production
+- Helm: synths
+- Calf: plugins
+- Black Pearl Drumkit: plugin
+- Guitarix: plugins
+- x42: plugins
+- Krita: album cover
+- Inkscape: album cover
+
+### Hardware
+
+- Interface: Behringer UMC22
+- Headphones: Audio-Technica ATH-M20x
+- Keyboard: AKAI MPK mini play
+- Mic: Shure PGA48
+- Bass: Ibanez GSR200
+- Ukulele: second-hand "Nalu", model unknown
+- Drumsticks: Zildjian Josh Dun "Trench" artist series
+- Snare drum: Majestic AK14D
+
+## Lyrics
+
+Yanked from Genius. Differences:
+
+- Added Intro
+- I keep saying "on my lowest" instead of "at my lowest"
+- Added Original Verse
+- Numbered Choruses and Post-Choruses
+- Minute changes in backing vocals
+
+[Intro]
+I don't want anyone to drop anything for me
+
+[Chorus 1]
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop Don't have to
+drop by Nothin' you can do this time I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop Drop, drop, drop anything
+for me Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop
+
+[Verse 1]
+Used to be you and me, matching Kawasaki Zs
+Ride around 270 in Kawasaki tees
+Two fighter jets matching energy
+Trying to forget that we're in ejection seats
+
+[Pre‐Chorus]
+So please, keep it in mind
+Check on your friends
+Every once in a while
+Even if they say
+
+[Chorus 2]
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See mе [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop
+Don't have to drop by
+Nothin' you can do this timе
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop
+Drop, drop, drop anything for me
+Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop
+(Drop, drop, drop)
+
+[Post-Chorus 1]
+At the risk of feelin' dumb, check in
+It's not worth the risk of losin' a friend
+Even if they say
+"Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop"
+
+[Original Verse]
+I can read your mind man, where is Tyler's verse man?
+Chill, let me have some words of my own man
+The new record, it's called Clancy
+On a scale of Trench, I'd say that it's a ninety
+Can't forgive The Craving so close to Lavish
+Your eyes are steamin' up? Here comes a colonoscopy
+Upbeat (yeah), down thoughts (nah), guess it's called tradition
+Thank you for your patience, program resumes shortly
+
+[Verse 2]
+If I'm bein' real, man, don't know how I feel, man
+'Bout you sleepin' so close to a weapon you conceal, man
+Those night terrors are not somethin' to take lightly
+I know that it's a risk sayin' this, don't fight me
+(Stoppin' me, fight me)
+(Stoppin' me, fight me)
+(Stoppin' me, fight me)
+
+[Chorus 3]
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop
+Don't have to drop by
+Nothin' you can do this time
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop
+(Drop, drop, drop) Anything for me
+(Stopping me, stopping me, stopping me)
+Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop
+
+[Post-Chorus 2]
+At the risk of feelin' dumb, check in
+It's not worth the risk of losin' a friend
+Even if they say
+"Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop"
+
+[Chorus 4]
+I don't want anyone, know me or not
+See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop
+Drop, drop, drop anything
+For me
+
+[Outro]
