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<!doctype html><html lang=en-us><head profile=http://www.w3.org/2005/10/profile><link rel=icon type=image/ico href=https://thetaliaferrotimes.org/favicon.ico><meta charset=utf-8><meta name=viewport content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,shrink-to-fit=no"><meta name=generator content="Hugo 0.62.1"><link rel=icon href=/logo-small.png><title>Battle Scars | The Taliaferro Times Online</title><meta name=description content="The official newspaper and creative writing club of Booker T. Washington High School."><meta name=keywords content="Tulsa,The Taliaferro Times,newspaper,BTW,Booker T.,Booker T. Washington High School,School,news,opinion,Oklahoma,creative writing,write,articles,posts"><link href=/css/bootstrap.min.css rel=stylesheet><link href=/css/everything.css rel=stylesheet><script src=/js/darkreader.js></script><script>function darkmode_starting_up(){var savedTheme=localStorage.getItem("dark-mode-storage")||"dark";if(savedTheme==="dark"){DarkReader.enable();}
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<span class=navbar-toggler-icon></span></button><div class="collapse navbar-collapse" id=navbarMediumish><ul class="navbar-nav ml-auto"><li class=nav-item><a class=nav-link href=/about/>About</a></li><li class=nav-item><a class=nav-link href=/latest/>Latest Updates</a></li><li class=nav-item><a class=nav-link href=/school-resources/>School Resources</a></li><li class=nav-item><a class=nav-link href=/search/>Search</a></li><li class=nav-item><a href=https://www.twitter.com/btw_news><i class="fab fa-twitter social-icon nav-link" aria-hidden=false></i></a><a href=https://www.instagram.com/btw_news><i class="fab fa-instagram social-icon nav-link" aria-hidden=true></i></a><a class="fas fa-sun nav-link social-icon" aria-hidden=true onclick=darkmode_toggle(); id=dark-mode-toggle title="Toggle Dark Mode" style=cursor:pointer></a></li></ul></div></div></nav><div class=site-content><div class=container><div class=mainheading><h1 class=sitetitle>The Taliaferro Times Online</h1><p class=lead>Where your voice matters.</p></div><meta name=description content="These wallsFeel like a prisonThis box I hide myself inIt’s collapsing And I can’t find the door to get outThe room is filled with invisible doubtsFears and emotions that I only know one wayTo get them to stop screaming at meI am not proud of itI am downright terrifiedThe people I call friendsHelp me so muchBut I still worry that One day they will hate me as much as I doI don’t eat and nothing is easy anymoreLiving every day is a painBut I do it and to meI am stronger than any girl of steel could ever beMy life has changedMy field of daisies and flowersHas died and I just can’t do itLive every day like nothing is wrong When everything is wrongWhen the walls of society don’t exist anymore And I just float in that black void Between belonging and popularityThe one candle that lit that dark voidIs gone, snuffed out like it was nothingAnd in this dark void is a tempting offerLike the devil is asking me to sell my soulBut then the demon raging in my head fadesAnd that one part of me that is still humanWonders why would I put the people I love through thisBut then the demon takes hold once again And tells me that no one loves meOver and Over day after dayAnd to be honestHe’s right and sureYou just think I am crazy and rantingBut to me this is the next best thingThis might not mean anything to you but Five months, five months without a new scarBut without a new scar I realize that The voices in my head get strongerI can hardly stop my hands from shaking And just like that my beautiful God given giftIs torn away from meBut that doesn’t even come close to The pain I feel 24/7And as a reflex I have started callingThese marks of pain my “battle scars”What battle was I in you may askI have one answer for youI am losing a war with myselfAnd I won that tiny trivial battle But it doesn’t matter nowBecause I hurt so much And there is nothingThat anyone canDo aboutIt"><meta name=keywords content="Tulsa,The Taliaferro Times,newspaper,BTW,Booker T.,Booker T. Washington High School,School,news,opinion,Oklahoma,creative writing,write,articles,posts"><div class=main-content><div class=container><div class=row><div class="col-md-2 pl-0"><div class="share sticky-top sticky-top-offset"><script src=/js/mastodon.js></script><p>Share</p><ul><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=_blank href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Battle%20Scars&url=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'twitter-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Twitter :(" class="fab fa-twitter"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=_blank href="https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'facebook-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Facebook :(" class="fab fa-facebook-f"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=blank_ href="https://www.xing.com/spi/shares/new?url=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'xing-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Xing :(" class="fab fa-xing"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><i title="Share on Mastodon :)" style=cursor:pointer class="fab fa-mastodon" onclick=share_mastodon()></i></input></li></ul></div></div><div class="col-md-9 flex-first flex-md-unordered"><div class=mainheading><h1 class=posttitle>Battle Scars</h1><div class="col-xs-12 col-md-9 col-lg-10 text-center text-md-left md-nopad-left"><span class=author-description>by <b><a id=author-link href=/author/Ghost-Girl>Ghost Girl</a></b><br><i class="far fa-star"></i>Feb 1, 2019
<i class="far fa-clock clock"></i>2 min read</span></div></div><a href=/2019/02/2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl/><img class="featured-image img-fluid" src=/uploads/juan-davila-221687-unsplash.jpg alt="Image of:"></a><div class=article-post><p>These walls</p><p>Feel like a prison</p><p>This box I hide myself in</p><p>It’s collapsing</p><p>And I can’t find the door to get out</p><p>The room is filled with invisible doubts</p><p>Fears and emotions that I only know one way</p><p>To get them to stop screaming at me</p><p>I am not proud of it</p><p>I am downright terrified</p><p>The people I call friends</p><p>Help me so much</p><p>But I still worry that</p><p>One day they will hate me as much as I do</p><p>I don’t eat and nothing is easy anymore</p><p>Living every day is a pain</p><p>But I do it and to me</p><p>I am stronger than any girl of steel could ever be</p><p>My life has changed</p><p>My field of daisies and flowers</p><p>Has died and I just can’t do it</p><p>Live every day like nothing is wrong</p><p>When everything is wrong</p><p>When the walls of society don’t exist anymore</p><p>And I just float in that black void</p><p>Between belonging and popularity</p><p>The one candle that lit that dark void</p><p>Is gone, snuffed out like it was nothing</p><p>And in this dark void is a tempting offer</p><p>Like the devil is asking me to sell my soul</p><p>But then the demon raging in my head fades</p><p>And that one part of me that is still human</p><p>Wonders why would I put the people I love through this</p><p>But then the demon takes hold once again</p><p>And tells me that no one loves me</p><p>Over and Over day after day</p><p>And to be honest</p><p>He’s right and sure</p><p>You just think I am crazy and ranting</p><p>But to me this is the next best thing</p><p>This might not mean anything to you but</p><p>Five months, five months without a new scar</p><p>But without a new scar I realize that</p><p>The voices in my head get stronger</p><p>I can hardly stop my hands from shaking</p><p>And just like that my beautiful God given gift</p><p>Is torn away from me</p><p>But that doesn’t even come close to</p><p>The pain I feel 24/7</p><p>And as a reflex I have started calling</p><p>These marks of pain  my “battle scars”</p><p>What battle was I in you may ask</p><p>I have one answer for you</p><p>I am losing a war with myself</p><p>And I won that tiny trivial battle</p><p>But it doesn’t matter now</p><p>Because I hurt so much</p><p>And there is nothing</p><p>That anyone can</p><p>Do about</p><p>It</p></div><div class=after-post-tags><ul class=tags><li><a href=/tags/creative-writing>creative-writing</a></li></ul></div><div class=article-post><p>See more of this author's content <a href=/author/Ghost-Girl>here</a>.</p><p>Unless otherwise noted, all content herein is licensed under the <a href=https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/>Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License</a>. Please contact us for alternative licensing.</p><p>Send feedback and letters to the editor to feedback@thetaliaferrotimes.org.</p></div><div class="row PageNavigation d-flex justify-content-between font-weight-bold"><a class="d-block col-md-6" href=/2019/02/2019-02-25-mr-volle-announces-departure-after-2018-2019/>&#171; Mr. Volle Announces Departure After 2018-2019</a>
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