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<!doctype html><html lang=en-us><head profile=http://www.w3.org/2005/10/profile><link rel=icon type=image/ico href=https://thetaliaferrotimes.org/favicon.ico><meta charset=utf-8><meta name=viewport content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,shrink-to-fit=no"><meta name=generator content="Hugo 0.69.0"><link rel=icon href=/logo-small.png><title>Battle Scars
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Feel like a prison
This box I hide myself in
It’s collapsing 
And I can’t find the door to get out"><meta name=keywords content="Tulsa,The Taliaferro Times,newspaper,BTW,Booker T.,Booker T. Washington High School,School,news,opinion,Oklahoma,creative writing,write,articles,posts"><div class=main-content><div class=container><div class=row><div class="col-md-2 pl-0"><div class="share sticky-top sticky-top-offset"><script src=/js/mastodon.js></script><p>Share</p><ul><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=_blank href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Battle%20Scars&url=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'twitter-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Twitter :(" class="fab fa-twitter"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=_blank href="https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'facebook-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Facebook :(" class="fab fa-facebook-f"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><a target=blank_ href="https://www.xing.com/spi/shares/new?url=https%3a%2f%2fthetaliaferrotimes.org%2f2019%2f02%2f2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl%2f" onclick="window.open(this.href,'xing-share','width=550,height=435');return false;"><i title="Share on Xing :(" class="fab fa-xing"></i></a></li><li class="ml-1 mr-1"><i title="Share on Mastodon :)" style=cursor:pointer class="fab fa-mastodon" onclick=share_mastodon()></i></input></li></ul></div></div><div class="col-md-9 flex-first flex-md-unordered"><div class=mainheading><h1 class=posttitle>Battle Scars</h1><div class="col-xs-12 col-md-9 col-lg-10 text-center text-md-left md-nopad-left"><span class=author-description>by
<b><a id=author-link href=/author/Ghost-Girl>Ghost Girl</a></b><br><p><i class="far fa-star fa-fw"></i>Feb 1, 2019
<i class="far fa-clock fa-fw"></i>2
min read</p></span></div></div><a href=/2019/02/2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl/><img class="featured-image img-fluid" src=/uploads/juan-davila-221687-unsplash.jpg alt="Image of:"></a><div class=article-post><p><span style=font-weight:400>These walls</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Feel like a prison</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>This box I hide myself in</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>It’s collapsing</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And I can’t find the door to get out</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>The room is filled with invisible doubts</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Fears and emotions that I only know one way</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>To get them to stop screaming at me</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I am not proud of it</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I am downright terrified</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>The people I call friends</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Help me so much</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But I still worry that</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>One day they will hate me as much as I do</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I don’t eat and nothing is easy anymore</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Living every day is a pain</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But I do it and to me</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I am stronger than any girl of steel could ever be</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>My life has changed</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>My field of daisies and flowers</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Has died and I just can’t do it</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Live every day like nothing is wrong</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>When everything is wrong</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>When the walls of society don’t exist anymore</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And I just float in that black void</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Between belonging and popularity</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>The one candle that lit that dark void</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Is gone, snuffed out like it was nothing</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And in this dark void is a tempting offer</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Like the devil is asking me to sell my soul</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But then the demon raging in my head fades</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And that one part of me that is still human</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Wonders why would I put the people I love through this</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But then the demon takes hold once again</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And tells me that no one loves me</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Over and Over day after day</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And to be honest</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>He’s right and sure</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>You just think I am crazy and ranting</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But to me this is the next best thing</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>This might not mean anything to you but</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Five months, five months without a new scar</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But without a new scar I realize that</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>The voices in my head get stronger</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I can hardly stop my hands from shaking</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And just like that my beautiful God given gift</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Is torn away from me</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But that doesn’t even come close to</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>The pain I feel 24/7</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And as a reflex I have started calling</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>These marks of pain  my “battle scars”</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>What battle was I in you may ask</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I have one answer for you</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>I am losing a war with myself</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And I won that tiny trivial battle</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>But it doesn’t matter now</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Because I hurt so much</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>And there is nothing</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>That anyone can</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>Do about</span></p><p><span style=font-weight:400>It</span></p></div><div class=article-post><div class=post-info><hr class=post-end><ul class=tags><i class="fas fa-tags fa-fw"></i><li><a href=/%20/tags/creative-writing>#creative-writing</a></li></ul><p><i class="fas fa-file-alt fa-fw"></i>403
Words</p><p><i class="fas fa-code-branch fa-fw"></i><a href=https://git.sr.ht/~exprez135/taliaferro/commit/ffa4461a730726ab3635f60bc35d46a24ca0ad5f>ffa4461a</a>
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2020-01-02</p><p>See more from
Ghost Girl
<a href=/author/Ghost-Girl>here</a>.</p><p>Send feedback and letters to the editor to
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