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</div><meta name="description" content="These wallsFeel like a prisonThis box I hide myself inIt’s collapsing And I can’t find the door to get outThe room is filled with invisible doubtsFears and emotions that I only know one wayTo get them to stop screaming at meI am not proud of itI am downright terrifiedThe people I call friendsHelp me so muchBut I still worry that One day they will hate me as much as I doI don’t eat and nothing is easy anymoreLiving every day is a painBut I do it and to meI am stronger than any girl of steel could ever beMy life has changedMy field of daisies and flowersHas died and I just can’t do itLive every day like nothing is wrong When everything is wrongWhen the walls of society don’t exist anymore And I just float in that black void Between belonging and popularityThe one candle that lit that dark voidIs gone, snuffed out like it was nothingAnd in this dark void is a tempting offerLike the devil is asking me to sell my soulBut then the demon raging in my head fadesAnd that one part of me that is still humanWonders why would I put the people I love through thisBut then the demon takes hold once again And tells me that no one loves meOver and Over day after dayAnd to be honestHe’s right and sureYou just think I am crazy and rantingBut to me this is the next best thingThis might not mean anything to you but Five months, five months without a new scarBut without a new scar I realize that The voices in my head get strongerI can hardly stop my hands from shaking And just like that my beautiful God given giftIs torn away from meBut that doesn’t even come close to The pain I feel 24/7And as a reflex I have started callingThese marks of pain my “battle scars”What battle was I in you may askI have one answer for youI am losing a war with myselfAnd I won that tiny trivial battle But it doesn’t matter nowBecause I hurt so much And there is nothingThat anyone canDo aboutIt ">
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                        <h1 class="posttitle">Battle Scars</h1>

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				<span class="author-description">
					by <b><a id="author-link" href="/author/Ghost-Girl">Ghost Girl</a></b>
				    <br>
				    
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             Feb 1, 2019
				    
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             2 min read
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				<a href="/2019/02/2019-02-01-battle-scars-by-ghost-girl/"><img class="featured-image img-fluid" src="/uploads/juan-davila-221687-unsplash.jpg" alt="Image of: "></a>
			
	 	    

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                    <div class="article-post">
                        <p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->These walls<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Feel like a prison<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->This box I hide myself in<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->It’s collapsing <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And I can’t find the door to get out<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->The room is filled with invisible doubts<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Fears and emotions that I only know one way<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->To get them to stop screaming at me<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I am not proud of it<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I am downright terrified<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->The people I call friends<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Help me so much<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But I still worry that <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->One day they will hate me as much as I do<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I don’t eat and nothing is easy anymore<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Living every day is a pain<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But I do it and to me<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I am stronger than any girl of steel could ever be<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->My life has changed<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->My field of daisies and flowers<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Has died and I just can’t do it<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Live every day like nothing is wrong <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->When everything is wrong<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->When the walls of society don’t exist anymore <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And I just float in that black void <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Between belonging and popularity<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->The one candle that lit that dark void<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Is gone, snuffed out like it was nothing<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And in this dark void is a tempting offer<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Like the devil is asking me to sell my soul<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But then the demon raging in my head fades<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And that one part of me that is still human<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Wonders why would I put the people I love through this<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But then the demon takes hold once again <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And tells me that no one loves me<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Over and Over day after day<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And to be honest<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->He’s right and sure<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->You just think I am crazy and ranting<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But to me this is the next best thing<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->This might not mean anything to you but <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Five months, five months without a new scar<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But without a new scar I realize that <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->The voices in my head get stronger<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I can hardly stop my hands from shaking <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And just like that my beautiful God given gift<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Is torn away from me<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But that doesn’t even come close to <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->The pain I feel 24/7<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And as a reflex I have started calling<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->These marks of pain  my “battle scars”<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->What battle was I in you may ask<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I have one answer for you<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->I am losing a war with myself<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And I won that tiny trivial battle <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->But it doesn’t matter now<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Because I hurt so much <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->And there is nothing<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->That anyone can<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->Do about<!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><!-- raw HTML omitted -->It <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>

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