messagerenderer: link to reply in (reply to) tag
messagerenderer: pull highlight out to front of msg

this matches what irssi expects
builds: use debian/stable
allow disabling ssl
irc: drop :<HOST> from nicks

this was perceived poorly and makes the previous commit work worse
add names to reply tags on IRC
run go mod tidy
discord: generate short message render URLs
handle global names

requires updating discordgo, take the chance to also update other deps
irc: add unit to just-in-case time

readme: correct use of pre and code
irc: set realname according to usernames
irc: translate CTCP ACTION into _%s_

this matches discords behavior on /me
discord: correct links to replied messages
main: fix compile warning
main: remove member preloading

this might be too startup costly
irc: add a longer irc ping delay
main: limit to 15 initial connections
readme: add CAP_NET_BIND_SERVICE to the cap list

I forgot about it